We’re Cutting the Cord

We are going to do it.  We are “cutting the cord”.

Very soon, our household will no longer have cable TV.  To me (although not to my love, Karla), this seemed almost unfathomable until recently.  Not that I am SUPER into television; I usually have a show or two that I am keeping up with at any given moment, but other than a select few, I’m never really passionate about them.  I don’t typically turn on television and just watch whatever is on—I turn it on at appointed times to watch something specific.  Karla has almost never been that way, so this won’t be a huge change for her.

While I don’t really *watch* a whole lot of TV, I do turn it on sometimes just to feel connected to the outside world.  If I’m all alone in the house, I have often simply turned on the TV to feel less lonely—and I’ve always been quite aware that was my motivation for doing so.  In recent years, as I’ve become more aware of this opiate-type usage of TV, I have tried to curtail it and now will read with music on more often than with TV.  Silence, however, is still somewhat rare for me.  But I’m a work in progress.

The good (?) news is, we have so many streaming and DVD options, we still have more to watch than we could properly accomplish in a lifetime.  Our household alone has Netflix as well as Amazon Prime, so even those two services alone offer more than we need.  Factor in free streaming services like Crackle and a dozen or so other channels we have loaded on our Roku and the approximately 500 DVDs we own—including numerous seasons of TV shows–continuing to pay for cable seemed silly and wasteful.

Yes, there are a few shows (at this point, really just The Walking Dead) that I still HAVE to see.  Luckily, each episode is available to rent for 2.99 the day after it airs via Amazon.  Pricey?  Perhaps—but much cheaper than our cable bill.  I will just be avoiding Facebook on Sunday evenings for awhile :)

I hear you:  BUT SETH!  What about live TV?? News?? Sports???

 Yes.  This is the only part that hurts.  First, we will be keeping the cable through the election.  Once that whole fracas seems settled, we’ll cut the cord.  Yes, I will miss sports.  However, I already gave up football.  But I will surely miss seeing my Phillies, 76ers, and Flyers play.  I will certainly follow their seasons via print and internet media.  I imagine in the vanishingly rare event that one of my teams would be having an amazing year and look headed to the playoffs, I might cave and get the cable again, but for just a limited time.  I will very much miss special events like the Oscars—but a local theater here shows it on the big screen every year—so maybe there’s an opportunity for a new tradition.  Or, maybe, it will become one more item in the growing list of things I used to care about, but now, maybe not so much.

I can’t claim that this change is occurring because we don’t watch filmed, scripted entertainment.  We do, and we don’t feel ashamed of it.  It’s just that there’s filmed, scripted entertainment coming out of our ears, and we pay more for all of it than we do for our electric and gas bills.  This seemed askew to us.  In addition, we get an actual newspaper delivered, as well as about ten magazine subscriptions, and I am kind of addicted to fivethirtyeight.com and The New York Times online—so as much as I love CNN and MSNBC, we don’t really get our information from the television.  The fact of the matter is, getting rid of cable stands to change our lives very little—a realization that made it seem truly ludicrous for us to keep it.

Badass Harrisburg, Media vs. Trump, Eraser, Alexander Supertramp

It has now been over a year and a half since we moved to Harrisburg. Like every time I’ve made a large move, it’s been interesting how at first there is a large amount of culture shock, and then just a few weeks or months later, it’s almost like you’ve always lived there. It’s hard to imagine there was a time that I lived in Philadelphia, or Erie,  or Carlisle.  It’s hard to imagine there was a time when I actually could not imagine moving back to Central Pennsylvania. Did I ever actually move away from here? But also, the first time I lived here, I couldn’t have imagined living in Harrisburg, but now it seems the natural center of this area. Harrisburg gets a bad rap from many people, for those are people who are afraid of it, or have never spent much time in it. Granted, it is a city with its troubles, both financial and otherwise. There are plenty of areas that are downtrodden, poor, and wanting of many of the services that the surrounding areas take for granted. But there is a lot to love here, and plenty of neighborhoods that you can feel safe in, and with nice modern housing. There’s more than enough to do, more than enough beautiful views, and a vibrant arts scene. In fact, there are more things that we have not been able to do than those we have been able to do. And it seems clear to me that the city is still on the move. I know there have been lots of stories over the decades about the revitalization of Harrisburg, but this time it does seem legitimate. The independent music scene, hipster coffee shops, art galleries opening all over the place. Even a vegan coffee shop close to the state capitol building! There’s a lot to love here, and although there are certainly times when I’m riding my bike down a side street here that I miss being right in the middle of traffic on Broad Street in Philadelphia, there’s also something to be said for walking out of my job every night, looking to my right, and seeing the beautiful Capitol Dome less than a mile away, or walking my dog six blocks and being along the Susquehanna River Trail, almost always as the sun sets.

 

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The fact is, the system IS rigged against Trump, in the sense that the media (hold up; did I say the MEDIA?? You hate the media, don’t you? [I’m probably not talking to YOU here, but to about 30 people on my Facebook who bitch more about the media than the atrocities they report on}  But what is it you are talking about, when you say “the media”? It’s an institution with hundreds of thousands of outlets, platforms, and systems, and it’s actually one of the best things about our country–one of the things that really DOES keep us free. But see, you gotta do some work, too. You have to sift through some things, figure out what sources you trust, the nuances of how to best receive information from the media, and where and when you receive it. You have to READ things. Hey, quick–who’s your favorite columnist? Don’t have one? How do you HATE the media when you’ve never really consumed it to begin with? Stop being lazy. The American freedom of press truly does set us apart–and I’m not one for “American Exceptionalism”. But yeah–most of the media operates by making a profit, so be careful, and above all READ things. And it does make a difference if it’s printed on paper; it’s harder to trick your eye into only reading the “interesting” stuff or items you already agree with. Just read the news. Hating and callously dismissing “the media” is just active laziness. And memes are not the media. FYI) are not obligated to report on an aspiring despot who would end the American experiment like it was no big deal. The “media”–contrary to what many seem to think–are not obligated to be neutral observers of facts only at all times. They are to report facts, yes–but also interpret them (again, this is where understanding media nuance will serve you well: there ARE places you can go for just fact, and places you can go for opinion, and places you can go for analysis. If you go to one place expecting it to be something it isn’t, you might think it’s corrupt, when in fact you’re just a novice). So yes, the media are biased against Trump because they are reporting on a man who would destroy our nation–and harm the world. And it is not their DUTY to remain neutral. The media IS biased–but not against Trump; they’re biased against evil.

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I wasn’t ready for Thom Yorke’s solo album, The Eraser, when it came out in 2006.  I was baffled by it, listened to it twice, and put it away–not knowing if it was bad or I was daft.  I put it in on a whim today and it turns out I am ready for it.

 

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Two nights ago, I got to meet Jon Krakauer, an author who is currently among America’s top 3 or 4 nonfiction authors.  I’ve admittedly only read two of Jon’s books–“Into the Wild” being his most famous book and a work that has touched my life very deeply.  In it, Krakauer tells the story of Christopher McCandless, who left a very comfprtable and promising life, wandered the country with little to no money and no contact with anyone for over a year, eventually hiking into the Alaskan wilderness where he would eventually die.  Chris’s story is complex and multi-layered–it can’t be reduced to one single element.  When I was at very low points in my life–still drinking and in deep depressions–Chris’s decision to disappear and walk into the wild until he died appealed to me.  Later, sober and happy, other elements of Chris’s philosophy and his journey resonated with me.  Here is an excerpt from a letter he wrote to a man he met on his sojourn across the country.  The man–who had been deeply affected by a month or so he spent with Chris–received the postcard after Chris died:

“So many people live within unhappy circumstances and yet will not take the initiative to change their situation because they are conditioned to a life of security, conformity, and conservatism, all of which may appear to give one peace of mind, but in reality nothing is more damaging to the adventurous spirit within a man than a secure future. The very basic core of a man’s living spirit is his passion for adventure. The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.” –Christopher McCandless

While it was McCandless whose story has so impacted me, Krakauer’s decision to tell it, and the respect he gave the story, resonated.  In the many years since “Into the Wild” was published, Chris’s story has become of major import to a growing legion of people who find something inspiring about him, and Krakauer does not shy away from his role as a steward of the story.  It was an intense honor to meet him.

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The sun goes up, the sun goes down. The wind begins to whistle through branches now bare with late months.  The sky grays, the wind grays, everywhere color mutes, curls into itself.  Even the insects look at you with worry.

 

 

 

Howard Bryant for President (of MLB)

I have posted a few entries in the past about the unappreciated world of sports journalism; unfortunately most people writing about sports are not thought of as real journalists or, god forbid, artful writers tackling important topics–and granted, much sports journalism is pure reporting of events.  But longform or opinion sports journalists are some of the most eloquent, incisive writers out there, and some of their work can elicit incredible emotion or hammer home incredible points.  It doesn’t always connect sports to the wider world (although it often does), but sometimes a terrific piece of writing that is just about sports is still worth the time (and money) investment.

One of my favorite sports writers is Howard Bryant, who writes a bi-weekly column for ESPN the Magazine.  I have never, ever once read his column (or one of his longform features) without coming away thinking about something differently than I had before; his ability to turn the angle on a topic and shed a new viewpoint on it is nothing short of mystical.

In the most recent issue, Howard wrote a short column about Major League Baseball in general that I feel is worth reproducing here.  If you have any interest in baseball, sports in general, or terrific opinion journalism, please take a few minutes to read this.  I have pasted the text here for you but a quick search for Howard Bryant and MLB will find the original article on MLB’s site.

 

“After A-Rod’s Fall, He and MLB Are a Perfect Fit” by Howard Bryant, from ESPN the Magazine, September 5th, 2016

IT SOUNDS SO inconceivable, naive, delusional, but it was only a decade ago that Alex Rodriguez was the antidote to a ruinous generation of drugs and greed. He was the choice of the really smart baseball men, such as Theo Epstein and Brian Cashman, both of whom traded for him, and a paralyzed commissioner such as Bud Selig, who tolerated Barry Bonds holding the home run record because soon enough Rodriguez would shatter it and make the game whole again. He would make them clean.

Alex Rodriguez only made it worse. The Golden Boy wasn’t so golden after all. Following a bizarre week in which the Yankees held a retirement ceremony for him even though he’d never announced he was quitting, Rodriguez was discarded without much care. Even the pregame celebration before his final game as a Yankee was curtailed by thunder, lightning and rain, fitting for those who found him less of a True Yankee than the rest. “That wasn’t thunder,” former Yankees player and coach Lee Mazzilli said of the biblical thunderclaps that preceded the downpour. “That was George.” The Yankees’ 1996 championship team was being honored the next day, but for Rodriguez’s night, only Mariano Rivera joined him on the field. Former teammates Andy Pettitte, Jorge Posada, Bernie Williams and Derek Jeter were not present. Neither was his old manager, Joe Torre. That’s called a message pitch.

Point the blame at Rodriguez, who admitted using PEDs, but no amount of reveling in his inglorious end can undo the enormous collaborative effort that has created baseball’s current dystopia. Rodriguez, along with Bonds, Roger Clemens and Mark McGwire, is part of the Mount Rushmore of discredited legends that represents the true legacy of the steroid era: It isn’t that they aren’t in Cooperstown. It’s that nobody cares.

The all-time home run list was once led by the most recognizable foursome in sports — Hank Aaron, Babe Ruth, Willie Mays, Frank Robinson. That leaderboard stood for nearly 30 years, until Bonds, who hit his 500th and 600th home runs just one season apart, passed Robinson in 2002. Sammy Sosa hit 60 home runs three times and won the home run title in exactly none of those years. While baseball took the money and laughed at warnings that it was undermining itself, the consequences would be felt later, with Rodriguez amassing 3,000 hits, 2,000 runs and 2,000 RBIs — something only Aaron had done — but leaving the game utterly uncelebrated, inside baseball and especially out.

The Rodriguez epitaph will be a one-sided story about the phenom who was part of the top millionth percentile of talent and blew it all. Yet Alex Rodriguez will in the end be no different from the industry in which he performed for the past two decades, a game that has lost its way, seemingly intent on undermining all that made it special.

The game, like A-Rod, took the money (it is now close to a $10 billion industry), ignored the spread of steroids and lost out on the good stuff. Its records are now as worthless as those in the league it is so envious of, the NFL. It decides which team will host the most important games of the World Series based on an exhibition game. It plays its championship in the worst weather because its leaders refuse to compromise on money and adjust the schedule. It plays at least one game every day between teams that play under two sets of rules. And because baseball cannot decide whether it wants to be truly modern, the game’s leadership allows it to stand weakly in the middle, playing a full season of baseball, simultaneously rewarding and penalizing teams for not coming in first place by staging a one-game playoff, as if the baseball season were the NCAA tournament.

Baseball wants the world to be proud of its drug-testing program. Meanwhile, it deals with an All-Star team of steroid-tainted players who thus far need a ticket to enter the Hall of Fame — Bonds, Clemens, McGwire, Rafael Palmeiro, Gary Sheffield, Jason Giambi, Manny Ramirez and most certainly Rodriguez — by disciplining virtually none of them and hiring nearly all — laying the weight of accountability on the Baseball Writers’ Association of America. If not knowing himself was the self-destructive fatal flaw of Alex Rodriguez, it makes perfect sense that he felt so much at home playing major league baseball.

Can It Be True? I’m Getting Rid of My DVDs.

Last night I went out into our garage and brought in three large boxes.  In those boxes were hundreds–maybe close to six hundred–DVDs and Blu-ray discs.  I sat down with the contents of these boxes and divided them into two piles–“sell” and “keep”.  About two-thirds ended up in the “sell” pile.  Now, I didn’t do this because we are destitute and hard-up for cash.  I had just finally come to the realization that carting around that much physical baggage, representing movies that would be practically impossible for me to watch, was no longer a viable act.  (of note, these were simply the “garage” DVDs, the ones we couldn’t fit in the house.  I currently have no plans to get rid of the “house DVDs”).

I bring this up mainly because some of you may know I have continued to be a staunch advocate of physical media well into the digital age (I am a heavy user of digital media but have not abandoned the physical product like many have) and it feels significant to purge myself of all these DVDs.  The fact is, even without options like Netflix, Amazon Prime, and cable television, I would still be hard pressed to find the time to watch even a fraction of these movies.  Many of them are movies I truly love dearly, but when one has hundreds and hundreds of movies they love dearly, well…reality must be faced at some point.  Also, from a practical standpoint, these movies are tucked away in huge boxes in a garage.  The few times I’ve had a desire to watch one of them, the desire left after considering it for about ten seconds.  They’re just too difficult to get to.

Like many people, as the DVD age dawned, I delighted at the prospect of building a “film library”, and spent the next decade feverishly spending all my extra cash to own every movie I liked more than just a little bit.  Collecting DVDs became almost its own, separate pastime, mildly divorced from the pure love of film.  As I was single and childless most of this time, the extra room in my apartments made a perfect storage space for expanding Wal-Mart bookshelves full of DVDs, which I organized in many different ways over the years–sometimes alphabetically, sometimes by genre, with special sections for my favorite filmmakers and TV shows on DVD.  I kept going and going well beyond what was practical–I long ago lost the ability to even watch a tiny fraction of what I owned, often not even knowing for sure if I did own a certain film.

I became a completist of the highest order.  I loved the first three Todd Solondz films (I don’t love them anymore) and when I disliked his fourth and fifth films, I bought the DVDs anyway, to round out the Solondz section on my shelf (I can’t wait to not own “Palindromes” anymore!).  I bought every Stanley Kubrick film (these went in the “keep” pile) then had to buy “Eyes Wide Shut” again after they put out an unrated version.  At some point I began buying every movie made about a comic book superhero, because when I was REALLY into comic books as a young kid, I would have killed to see these movies–nevermind that I only liked about a quarter of them.  My superhero DVD collection grew to over 50, despite my actual ambivalence to the genre, out of some misguided favor to my younger self.  I mean, I own “Barb Wire” and BOTH “Judge Dredd” films.  But not for much longer.

It is, in plenty of ways, sad to see them go.  It was an impressive collection (people often say the DVDs in our living room are a lot of DVDs, which always makes me smile, as they’re about ten percent of the collection) and represented not just tons of money, but plenty of time and effort.  I’m also sad to, in some small way, be throwing in the towel on DVDs.  But I am definitely not abandoning them completely–with the “keep” pile from last night and the discs that were already inside the house, I’m sure we still have close to 300 movies in a physical format–and it’s hard to imagine saying goodbye to those.  And although purchasing new discs will be rare, I have no plans to stop for good.  My addiction to the Criterion Collection continues, and after seeing their slate for 2016, I anticipate buying three or four new ones this year.  I bought “Room” on Bu-Ray last month and have “The Revenant” pre-ordered.  As I get passionate about new movies, some will be added to the collection, but much slower than before, of course.

As far as other media: I stream a lot of music (but I use Tidal, which pays artists more than other streaming services.  I also use Pandora, but mostly to stream classical and jazz by people who are dead) but I still buy CDs, albeit at about 10% of the rate I did even three years ago.  I’ll probably buy nine or ten CDs in 2016.  I buy lots of vinyl–a combination of old music that’s freshly pressed (think brand-new factory sealed Beatles records), brand new music (the new Emily Wells album) and used vinyl out of dusty bins (just got The Dave Brubeck Quartet’s “Jazz Impressions of New York” at the local used record joint).

I read all my books, magazines, and newspapers on paper, although the Kindle ads in the New York Times Book Review make me a little itchy for one.

We currently have active subscriptions to Netflix, Amazon Prime, and Hulu, as well as Comcast cable…it’s an embarrassment of riches, to be sure, especially since our available TV-watching time is pretty low.  And most nights I just watch re-runs of “Shark Tank” on CNBC, anyway.  Can’t get enough Mark Cuban, I guess.

 

Some Stuff I Want

It is lately the generally accepted wisdom of the masses that one should not covet material items too much and you should spend your excess money on having experiences.  At least, this seems to be the generally accepted wisdom of my Facebook feed.  And I think I do fairly well with that; while there are certainly items I not only want but crave, I also spend a lot of my life having pretty great experiences.

All that being said, there remain some persistent bigger-ticket items that just call my name like a siren at sea, and I won’t deny it!  Perhaps it is an illness of our consumerist society, but dammit, there’s some stuff I want!  I thought it might be fun to put them here in a blog.  Please note this is just a fun exercise for me and not a veiled Christmas list.  As an adult I have never taken any joy in making out a list of things for people to buy me.  Some of these things have been bouncing around in my head as items I want for YEARS; I thought it might be therapeutic to get them out in the open.

In no particular order:

–OK, maybe in a SLIGHT order, just because this is definitely number one: Neil Young’s Mirrorball on vinyl.  It’s not my favorite album but it contains my favorite song.  Used would be fine but what I salivate over is the idea of a new, factory-sealed copy.  New copies on eBay generally go for about $100.

–I’m dying for a high-quality Philadelphia Flyers zip hoodie that goes light on the orange (but still has orange) and is heavy enough to wear for all but the coldest winter months.  Turns out all those criterion result in an expensive item.  Basically, I’m talking about this.  This would give me hoodies for all four Philly sports teams, but I don’t want to rush it and get a cheap version.  Hence, I’ve been sitting on this desire for almost two years.  I mean, who has $70 bucks for a hoodie?

–OK, I admit I have some fairly expensive interests.  I’ve been dying to get my hands on some first printings of collections of Philip Larkin poetry.  Now, this is a pretty specific area to deal in.  I am in no way talking about books actually called Collected Poems.  I am talking about the individual collections of poems AS THEY WERE PUBLISHED.  I would only be interested in them if they were FIRST PRINTINGS, which would mean they are hardcovers, usually being shipped from the UK somewhere, published in the 50s, 60s, and 70s.  These titles would be:   The Less Deceived (1955, generally sell on eBay for $60-$150), The Whitsun Weddings (1964, goes for about $150), High Windows (1974, $90-$180.  This is the most desirable one).  There are some lesser collections: The North Ship being the most notable.  I do have a second printing copy of The North Ship, for which I paid $55 in a moment of weakness some years ago.

–I really want a pair of high quality Bose earbuds.  Please note earbuds, not headphones.  I like the crazy colors, too.  Specifically these.  I will never have the cojones to shell out the money for these.

–You might not guess it to look at me, but I love shoes.  It’s just that the shoes I love, which are very specific stylistically, can usually be bought very cheaply at many local retailers.  But it turns out, there are expensive versions of the shoes I like (apparently they are Chukkas), and I will never, ever be paying for them.  But look at them. Look how pretty they are.

–I don’t often feel a need to add many DVDs to my collection nowadays, although I will still add one here and there as I see more movies I fall in love with or as classics become available.  However, there is only one movie that I feel is causing a gap in my collection by its absence.  That movie is They Shoot Horses, Don’t They? and it has been out of print on DVD for so long that new copies are very scarce.  Here look at this: a new copy of the DVD (not Blu Ray) on Amazon costs $100. You can see at that same Amazon page that used copies start at $20, but those are listed in acceptable condition.  I certainly do not mind used copies of DVDs but I balk at acceptable.  Some second-party sellers are offering New copies for $50.  Worth it but of course I can’t spend that on a single-disc, non-special edition DVD, no matter how badly I might want it.

–I love using the Roku to stream entertainment to my television.  In fact, we already own two of them.  However, in our new home, our wifi is terrible and it is a problem we don’t seem able to solve (we have been relegated to streaming Netflix via our Blu-Ray player, which is Ethernet cabled).  The thing is, I love Rokus, and the ROKU 3 has an Ethernet port.  Would this be an item of great excess?  Yes.  But I neeeeeeeeed it.

–My art book collection would basically be complete (for now) with the addition of a HIGH QUALITY, comprehensive, hardback book on Henri Rousseau.  I’m having trouble finding one to link to online, but the kind I’m thinking of is generally not cheaper than $60.  Failing that, I would settle for a framed print of The Dream (no smaller than 32×24) or The Snake Charmer (preferably 40×30).

See, I don’t ask for much!  I also like experiences!

Stop Harshing My Groove

1.  Am I, potentially, the only person in America who said to themselves this morning, “Looks like it’s time to buy some more blank CDs!”?

2.  What do you think it would take to get this zany country of ours to do away with this whole “move the clocks back” thing?  Everyone hates it, and even those who have a full understanding of why we do it, even they don’t understand why we do it!  In a country that seems to be waking up from centuries of backward thinking (yay gay marriage! yay legal pot even though I don’t personally smoke it! yay even bigots hate Westboro Baptist!) you’d think we could find a way out of this dark-at-noon bullcrap.

3.  Those of you who are aware of the trend of men wearing fancy socks, I’d like to get your thoughts on it.  Part of me really wants to jump on that train and thinks it is very much me, and the other part of me thinks that is the opposite of me and that I should be very opposed to it.  And please, suggestions like you should do whatever you feel like are pretty pointless since I just told you I’m conflicted!

4.  I’m getting sick of dust.  I mean, when will dust just give up?  Aint nobody got time for that!

5.  Who knew there was an abandoned section of Asbury Park, New Jersey, that seems to border on “ghost town” status??? Not me, and I’ve freakin’ BEEN to Asbury Park!  Brian, why didn’t you ever tell me about this?  Geez Louise, this is right down my alley! (thanks to the lovely Karla for filling me in!)

6.  Boy howdy, do I ever freakin’ love the holidays.  I’ve blogged about this before, but I just don’t understand people’s hatred of the holiday’s “starting early”.  Oh, what’s that, you’d rather not begin feeling a kinship with your fellow man too early in the season?  Too soon for warm nostalgia, quality 50s music (that’s basically what our Christmas songs are, but mostly, as songs, they’re REALLY GOOD), eye-popping decorations, and a general air of joviality?  What is wrong with you people?? Stop harshing my groove.

37 of the Worst Oatmeal Beers

What is up with this trend of inane lists on the internet that have a purposefully odd and senseless amount of items in them?  38 Things White People Don’t Know or 16 Ways I Blew My Marriage or The 42 Most Haunted Places in Ireland.  When they first started popping up, I just assumed the list makers had gotten lazy and didn’t feel like making a list that made it to an even number, but it soon became obvious that the trend was too prevalent and too consistent to be an accident or a product of laziness.  Something about this odd-number list is a draw to readers–or at least a proven click generator–and I just can’t figure out why.  Why would an oddly numbered list prove to be more attractive to a reader?  Is it just a curiosity thing?  Maybe the number itself jumps off the screen at you more, because our brains are trained to scan past numbers we see all the time, like 10, 20, etc?  No matter the cause, it should surprise nobody that this annoys the shit out of me.  I like my lists nice and tidy with rounded numbers, you know, like you were kind of trying.  And don’t get me started on the silly, needless lists that this tactic has caused to pop up on my news feed.  Sigh.  I really do kinda hate the internet.  But it’s definitely a love-hate kinda hate.

I still have yet to be able to find any information about those piers in my video on my previous blog.  Of course, I’m just Googling.  Does a more in-depth way of researching things still exist?  Does going to a library and…I don’t know, doing something there increase my likelihood of figuring something like this out?  I mean, not everything is on the internet, believe it or not, but I seem to have lost the ability or the know-how to do any research aside from internet searches.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m really good at internet searches, but still…

Sometimes in life you say something, maybe just a few words, a sentence, and you regret saying it.  Even twenty years later, you regret it, and maybe you regret it for the rest of your life.  Because saying something is an action, and maybe something you said hurt somebody, and somewhere deep inside us we know that some things do last forever.  And you wish you hadn’t hurt that person.  You wish you hadn’t said or done the thing.  People love to talk about not having regret, but you do.  You have regret because you’re a human being and having regrets is as much an ingrained part of the human experience as pooping, or stretching in the morning, or hating the Pittsburgh Penguins.  You can get into some stupid language game like well to me regret means blah blah blah, but I don’t, I just use experiences to blah blah blah.  Whatever.  Stop watching daytime TV.  Life aint tidy.  Own your regret.

I’m sure glad I stopped drinking before this whole “craft beer” thing started happening.  I certainly would not like these sludgy beasts.  Oatmeal beer and wheaty stuff and dark beers with bits of rice floating in them, or whatever.  Of course, I am sure that many people are constantly forced to pretend to like these things by a hipsterish peer pressure.  I can tell just by looking at these bottles that these “micro-brews” (once you’re bringing science into beer, you’ve probably lost the plot) are like beer syrup.  They probably make Guinness look like Coors Light.  No thanks.  Thank you, sobriety!

Here is me, looking at The Signer:

 

I Never Knew Soap Made You Taller

I know advertising isn’t the Devil. By itself, removed from cultural context and its own long, insidious history, it is in fact a pretty good thing. It’s a solid economic model that performs well in a healthy Capitalist society, and it alone is responsible for the continuing existence of television, magazines, newspapers, and very close to everything else. Without advertising, our culture would look very different—in some ways for the better, but mostly to our detriment.

So, why do I still feel like advertising is the enemy? Why do I still feel like a mark when I chuckle at a TV commercial, make a mental note of an ad in a magazine, or slow my car to finish reading a billboard? Why do I feel like a complete fool when I finish a conversation with someone about “that commercial we just love!”?

It’s a fact that not all advertising is fear-based, but it’s certainly a fact that most of it is.  Granted, I can’t think of a (reasonable) explanation for how this adorable camel hump-day Geico commercial is trying to use my fear to get me to buy a product, but exceptions like this are few.  Long, long, long ago, the folks in charge of creating advertising realized the purchasing public responded with their wallets and pocketbooks the most when you scared the shit out of them.  And that is why I feel like a schmo for responding to their wiles.  I’ve let them scare me.

Here is a famous early print advertisement for Pears soap, from England, circa 1900:

Pears soap (which was named after its founder and had nothing to do with pears) was one of (if not THE, depending on who you ask) the first mass produced and mass marketed soaps, not to mention the world’s first registered brand, of any product.

So how did this early ad play on Britisher’s fears?  This ad, one of a series of similar paintings, depicts Britain’s upper-middle class at the time (a class that had only just started to exist).  Ads like this mostly ran in publications read by the lower classes (who were nonetheless, obviously, literate, and therefore upwardly mobile, meaning they had money to buy things).  By associating products with classes or lifestyles we could possibly (although rarely easily or practically) obtain, companies consistently prey on our fears that the lives we are living are not good enough, are not as good as everyone else’s.  The ultimate fear: we are not as good as everyone else.  But guess what?  Pears soap can help you get there!

If you don’t have a Swiffer, you’re wasting time.  If you don’t use Axe body spray, you aren’t sleeping with enough women.  If you don’t have Aflac, you will get hurt at work and not be able to pay your bills.  If you don’t use Purex, your clothes aren’t as bright as your neighbors’.

Often, the fear of inadequacy is not as blatantly stated in the ad’s content, but in the unrealistic idealized world created by them.  Watch this seemingly innocuous ad for Johnsonville Bratwurst, but watch it now as a skeptic.  How does the ad create, in a short space of time, an idealized world that the product’s target audience wishes they lived in, but which is an unrealistic world?  How does the ad play on a fear of inadequacy to sell its product?

This is just a short primer on the subject, which I intend to return to shortly.  I am far from the first person to make these observations; folks much smarter than I have written full books on the topic.  The rabbit hole, in fact, goes much deeper than this.  Does advertising, in fact, manipulate the wants and needs of the consumers so badly and on such a grand scale as to change our cultural desires and tastes to a point of unbalance (one can never write off the importance of personal responsibility in our choices, but did enough fear play a role in our nation’s current obesity epidemic, our dependence on credit, and even the recent housing bubble?  I think you can guess where I stand)?

I thought I’d get the conversation rolling.  Your thoughts are appreciated.

And the blood rushes

Holy moly I hate winter.  Dogs are OK by me though. I don’t mind dogs.  I also like big swelling musical crescendoes. And owls.  Mini-sandwiches, I do not have often enough.  Open-mouth kissing.  I hate letting my car warm up.  Just be warm already, would you, car? I mean geez.  What is up with how many different ways people can see you?  I mean, some people in my life see me as, for lack of a better word, “really cool”, while an equally valid contingent see me as “kinda OK” and as just kinda a regular old guy.  A few people have me on amazingly high pedestals, while a few people actually hate me and think I’m a shit-head.  How is this possible? I suspect it is like this for most people.  I always enjoy clipping my toenails.  State flags are rad. Even more rad are county flags.  Salt and pepper on white rice.  The concept of the voodoo doll is neat, but thank goodness they’re not real. I mean, thank goodness!  I am continually annoyed by the very obvious way the sports media manipulates statistics to make things seem more dramatic, like we won’t notice (we don’t). Like, “Golden State has only beat the Lakers twice since 2009.”  First, 2009 wasn’t very long ago!  They always do this, say a year rather than “three years ago”, hoping you won’t do the math.  Secondly, why did we stop getting info at 2009?  The answer is almost always that the stat stops being impressive any further back. Maybe Golden State beat them four times in 2008 alone.  It’s bullshit manipulation.  You know, at first, I couldn’t understand paying money for my radio, but now I can’t foresee a future when I don’t have SiriusXM.  Sure, I can now get a lot of what I get there from Podcasts, but there is also a ton of live stuff that you can’t get any other way.  It is totally worth it.  I used to like frogs a lot but now I don’t give a shit about frogs.  My apologies to everyone who has bought me frog shit over the years.  The song “Relly’s Dream” by Band of Horses is what my life sounds like to me, while I’m asleep.  Pigeons eating seed on a sidewalk, lightning on the horizon while you’re driving at night, an ex-girlfriend walking past you without comment but still smelling the same as always, and the blood rushes, and the blood rushes.

I Told You So. Even Though You Didn’t Care Then, and You Don’t Care Now.

About two years ago, I posted this.

And now (in case you didn’t see this particular news snippet) this has happened.

Reading the latest issue of TIME magazine, I was intrigued by an article about YouTube, and was so blown away by some of the stats (and some of the writing, which in a few sentences manages to encapsulate what would take me a paragraph; let’s hear it for journalists!) that I felt the need to share it here.  This is two small excerpts from an article by Lev Grossman:

For every minute that passes in real time, 60 hours of video are uploaded to YouTube.  You can turn that number over in your mind as much as you want; at no point will it stop being incredible.  Sixty hours every minute.  That’s five months of video every hour.  That’s ten years of video every day.  More video is uploaded to YouTube every month than has been broadcast by the Big Three TV networks in the past 60 years. 

There’s never been an object like YouTube in human history.  It gets 4,000,000,000 page views a day, which adds up to 1,000,000,000,000—that’s a trillion—a year.  It has 800,000,000 users who watch 3,000,000,000 hours of video a month (that’s 340,000 years).  Human civilization now generates massive quantities of video footage simply as a by-product of it’s daily functioning, much as some industrial processes generate toxic slurry.  Before YouTube there was no central catchment for all that video; now it drains into a single reservoir, where we as a species can pan through it and wallow in it endlessly.

 

The River Followed Me

Today, something magical happened to me.  I stumbled upon a band that I fell immediately in love with, the old fashioned way.  I had forgotten how amazing an experience it could be.

See, I was in a music store.  An actual music store.  Not an instrument store, but a store with CDs, music posters, etc etc.  These still exist some places.  (It is a CD Warehouse, for those of you familiar with the sure-to-soon-be-extinct chain of stores).  This music store is of the “used” music store variety.  You can come in and sell your CDs, and hence, all the CDs for sale are used.  This creates a unique music store experience in two ways:  you rarely find anything newer than about 2 or 3 years ago, and you are able to open the CD packaging and look at the liner notes before you buy anything (the actual CDs are kept behind the counter).

It is when I shop at CD Warehouse that I am reminded how we found music back before the internet.  Aside from radio play, word of mouth, and eventually MTV, we would often go to music stores, look at CDs, and actually buy them, without hearing a note of it, based on:

1.  The band name
2.  The cover art
3.  The album title
4.  The song titles

Sure, this was a kind of crapshoot.  Plenty of people spent money on crappy music they never listened to.  But still, there were big plus sides.  We were invested in this process.  It was important we not waste this purchase.  Now, when you can buy one or two songs off an album for a buck each (after previewing them on YouTube), there is no personal investment.  No time spent poring over possibilities , weighing options, adding up prices in your head.

I have gotten off-topic.  If you want to read about the lost art of buying physical music, there are already tons of places to read about that.  Google it.  It will either make you wish you were young again, or hate crotchety old men like myself who whine about unimportant shit (and don’t get me started on how the current rise of digital music has discouraged most artists from the need to craft 12 actual good songs for an album; why do it, when 90% of their revenue comes from 2 songs off each album?  The result: less actual good music in the world).

So anyway, there I was, perusing the rack at CD Warehouse, not sure what I was looking for, just leisurely waiting for something to catch my eye.  And then, just like in the old days, a perfect confluence of band name, album art, album title, and song titles caught my eye, and I knew immediately what disc I was getting, even though I’d not even remotely heard of the band (nor had I heard of their record label).

The band is called Mexico City, and the album is “Brown Bird”. It has a copyright stamp of 2009.  Some of the song titles I found irresistable are “I Raised an Empire”, “Baby, You’ve Changed”, “Are You Spiritual?”, “The River Followed Me”, and “You Aint Free”.  This is the cover art:

So I get out to my car and put the disc in and WHAMMO!, I am immediately in love.  The first track, “I Raised and Empire”, mixes just about every element of music that I adore, down to lyrical content, singer’s voice, and even the bass tuning.  I continued to drive around for a lot of the morning and into the sunny afternoon, going to the Howard Eaton Reservoir as seen in the previous post and running some light errands, all in all hearing the whole album 2 or 3 times and being floored by every single song.

When I finally got home, I was quite anxious to get online and find out as much as I could about this band.  And I was even more floored to find a very close to zero internet presence by them.  No videos on YouTube (I say again…NONE!), no Wikipedia entry, and with a name like Mexico City, you can imagine standard Google results are difficult to sift through.  They have a MySpace page, and a presence on their label’s website (turns out, they’re an Australian band).  So of course this actually quite pleased the pretentious hipster in me, who LOVES being the only guest at the party.

What an unbelievable find, when you think about it!  In a completely empty, used music store in Erie, Pennsylvania, by pure chance I bought a practically unavailable CD from an Australian band that nobody has ever heard of, and it is perfect for me.  (for more proof that it is down my alley, I copied this from the band’s blurb on their label’s website: “Mexico City is epic garage rock for fans of The Band, Nick Cave,  Dylan, My Morning Jacket, Neil Young and Wilco.”)  I am just so happy that an experience like this can still be had in this day and age.

But of course, while I am happy to be alone at the party, I was still sad the band seemed to have a nil presence on YouTube. (I want people to pay for the music they own, but YouTube is a great jumping-off point for people to learn HOW to spend their music budget.  Plus, before anyone wants to argue it: healthy used music stores are good for musician’s pocketbooks.  Wanna talk about how that works? E-mail me.)  So I real quick made a video for the song that really stood out to me, “The River Followed Me”.  This one really made my hair stand on end the first time I heard it, so I figured this was the one I’d put out there first.  But I hate when people just upload songs with a static picture of some kind, and no visual stimulation, so I took that final step and have become one of these insufferable internet dweebs who make “unofficial” videos of songs as though they think they’re in the band, or they’re some sort of video-maker.  Well, I guess I am what I am, although there’s actually much less pretension here than you might think.  I took all this video in about 30 minutes, and assembled it all in about another 30 minutes.  It is all completely meaningless, disconnected imagery that I thought might just look cool with the song.  The indoor stuff is all in my apartment (completely unfettered shots of how my place actually looks, no staging…except the mirrorball, which I had to turn on for the shot, but which IS out of batteries, which is why it isn’t turning).  The majority of the outdoor stuff is within a 2 block radius of central downtown Erie. (the nearly unidentifiable shot at between 2:06-2:13 is the gazebo in downtown’s Perry Square where the Occupy Erie movement is camped out).  The baseball game is in a city park 3 blocks from my apartment.  Anyway, check it out, this song owns my nads:

 

Oh, ad execs.  Sigh.  “A phone to save us from our phones.”  Ahem.  Fuck you.

The World Where they Never Stop Screaing At Us

There was a small news story a few days ago about how a few retialers, including Best Buy (whom I have on online account with) had had their customers’ e-mail addresses stolen.  It’s really no big deal—everyone has assured everyone that it was only e-mails and no other information could have been stolen (I hear you, Dad, I hear you).  The reason I bring this up is that Best Buy sent us an e-mail talking about it, and there is just one little sentence that disgusts me beyond all belief.  In re-assuring us that our very identities will not be stolen, ruining our lives forever, Best Buy couldn’t help but advertise their stupid Geek Squad service.  Really, Best Buy?  You never turn that shit off, eh?  I’ve posted the e-mail here, putting the offending sentence in bold and italics:

Dear Valued Best Buy Customer,

On March 31, we were informed by Epsilon, a company we use to send emails to our customers, that files containing the email addresses of some Best Buy customers were accessed without authorization.

We have been assured by Epsilon that the only information that may have been obtained was your email address and that the accessed files did not include any other information. A rigorous assessment by Epsilon determined that no other information is at risk. We are actively investigating to confirm this.

For your security, however, we wanted to call this matter to your attention. We ask that you remain alert to any unusual or suspicious emails. As our experts at Geek Squad would tell you, be very cautious when opening links or attachments from unknown senders.

In keeping with best industry security practices, Best Buy will never ask you to provide or confirm any information, including credit card numbers, unless you are on our secure e-commerce site, www.bestbuy.com. If you receive an email asking for personal information, delete it. It did not come from Best Buy.

Aronofsky no longer directing “The Wolverine”.

What I keep finding very interesting—and I’m not sure what kind of interesting, but it’s interesting—is how in every article I’m reading about the nuclear crisis in Japan, you can practically hear the journalist trying so hard not to say “This could be almost as bad as those two times we nuked them.”

Sheenglish

Charlie Sheen

I have, like most of you, lots of thoughts on this whole Charlie Sheen business.  My thoughts are very conflicted.  They are not as simple as “That poor guy is sick” or “This guy is cool now!”.  Once I think I’ve got my thoughts figured out, I second guess myself, and then I triple guess myself, and on and on. 

Then this morning I read this blurb in the Sunday New York Times and thought I’d post it here, as it so accurately depicts my thought process.  It was written by Willa Paskin (and is part of a larger article).  Hopefully I’ll find a way in the coming days to put my own thoughts on Sheen into words of my own.  Here, Ms. Paskin is reproducing the conversation she is having with herself inside her mind about the Sheen debacle:

Ha, Charlie Sheen is so crazy! Look at him, talking about warlocks and tiger blood and octagons! …

But when people are on drugs, or having mental-health problems, they are good at saying crazy things. …

If he’s going to talk to basically anyone with a pulse and a recording device in such a highly entertaining fashion, what’s the harm in being entertained? …

But what’s really entertaining us? … Face it, this is a guy who could die. Just look at him!

You’re taking this way too seriously. He’s not going to die. I totally have him in my celebrity death pool just in case, though.

But don’t you see how cynical that is?

What is wrong with being cynical about Charlie Sheen? …

I’m sorry, but aren’t you starting to maybe like him a little?

No. No. I’m laughing at him. Well, I’m pretty sure I’m just laughing at him.

One of the only articles, online or otherwise, I’ve ever found about Hey Rosetta!  HERE

I’m going to once again sing the praises of the New York Times.  It really does make a difference what newspaper you read.  The NYT treats it’s articles like small pieces of literature.  I was just reading their review of the current season of “American Idol” (the article is written by Jon Caramanica) when I was blown away by this description of Steven Tyler—a description other media outlets would not have even bothered to attempt:

“Mr. Tyler’s face alone is worthy of a weekly show, loose skin slippery over a distant skeleton.  He’s a Claymation figure come to life, all elasticity and wrinkle.  He dresses like a shaman, a time-traveling dandy or a runaway hippie teen.  His grin is wide, like the Joker’s, and when he’s laughing, really he’s braying.”

An Oddity…

I recently purchased the new Decemberists album, “The King is Dead”, via electronic form from Amazon MP3.  Yes, I know, I am a big stickler for physical media, but I do occasionally buy an MP3 album from Amazon for ease of use as well as Amazon often having craaaaazy deals for MP3 albums (I think I paid 3.99 for the entire Decemberists album)….anyway, the point of all this is that I recieved a very strange e-mail this morning.  It was from Amazon, and the subject line said “Your Promotional Credit”, and this is what the e-mail said:

We recently received a new version of the Decemberists song “This Is Why We Fight” that more accurately represents the artist’s vision. You can use the code below to download the updated version of the song at no additional charge.
Here is your promotional code:

Is this weird or what?  I haven’t downloaded it yet.  What does it say about me that before I wanted to hear the song, I wanted to blog about it?

OMG a documentary about the New York Times.  Did somebody sneak into my brain and ask what I wanted?

50 More Things from 2010

Due to the severe limitations of “top ten lists”, as well as the sheer amount of crap I love each year, I’ve decided to institute this general list of 50 things I plain-old loved in 2010.  Most will be things that did not appear on my music or movies list, as well as things created, released, or performed in 2010, but I’m not going to limit myself with actual ground rules.  Here are, quite simply, in no particular order, 50 things I loved in 2010:

50.  The New York Times

Hear hear for a newspaper that still dares to have sections devoted to important things like science, business, and art.  I’ve found it difficult to spend less than two hours on a copy—even on a day like Tuesday.

49.  Red Bull Cola

It will probably be a short-lived experiment, but the delicious and almost-natural cola from Red Bull was a tasty shot of adrenaline (even if it was overpriced).

48.  Dwayne Johnson and Samuel L. Jackson in “The Other Guys”. 

The movie itself may have been lacking, but these two good sports’ 5 minutes of screen time made the enterprise worth the price of admission.

47.  “Dancing with the Stars”

For awhile, I hated myself for this guilty pleasure, until I realized it was actually genuinely compelling television.  Cynical hipster naysayers need to actually watch a season (I should know–I am a cynical hipster naysayer)

46.  The segment on NPR’s “Whad’Ya Know? with Michael Feldman” where they listed fake WikiLeaks

Far and away the most I’ve ever laughed at the radio.

45.  The new Ansel Adams photographs

Whether or not they are actually Ansel Adams’ is still in dispute—but they’re terrific photographs anyway

44.  This.

43.  “8: The Mormon Proposition”

The documentary that reveals (gasp!) how Prop 8 was engineered by the institution of the Mormon church.  Enraging, and engaging.

42.  VEVO on YouTube

Sure, this music channel on YouTube is 100% a corporate whore, but my year has been exponentially enhanced by concert footage of my favorite bands not shot by a drunk frat boy with a first generation iPhone.

41.  James Franco’s “Palo Alto”

Franco’s collection of short stories is good—real good.

40.  James Franco on “General Hospital”

Yeah, it’s on before I leave for work, so sue me if I watch it every now and then!  Franco’s performance as–ahem–Franco was an over-the-top piece of performance art so nuanced (with nods to the real-world oddity of James Franco being on a soap opera) that I often found myself stunned something so lovely and sophisticated was happening on American daytime television.

39.  James Franco in “127 Hours”

Portraying a not-so-likeable man within a bare-bones script who also has to cut off his own arm, Franco manages to make us like him, and makes us want to be better people, too.

38.  James Franco’s art opening in New York

James Franco opened a gallery exhibit of his art in New York this year, and although not all of it is great, some of it is incredible, and it’s all very valid.  To imagine a Hollywood star opening an art show he says–out loud–is about the “sexual confusion of adolescence” makes me think we may be living in a culture with, well…culture.  See some of the art here. 

37.  James Franco in “Howl”

So, the movie kinda stinks, but Franco hits an underappreciated home run as the poet Allen Ginsburg, an unlikeable, grizzly gay man with so many conflicting character traits, it’s an amazing juggling act Franco had to do–and a bona fide joy to see.  Also, John Hamm is in the movie, too!

36.  Salvation Army Stores

Thanks to this discovery, the visual palette that is me (it seems absurd to call what I have a “fashion sense”) is evolving for the first time in a decade.  (read: more sweaters)

35.  Joel Stein’s column in TIME magazine

The most self-absorbed man in the newsmagazine business continues to get funnier, even as his subjects get more serious.  Every week, I’m sure he’ll be arrested.

34.  The Mac Wrap at McDonalds

I seem to be the only human alive not disgusted by this, either literally, morally, or some other, more etheral way.  But I’m not disgusted.  I’m delighted.

33.  “Gimme Shelter” performed at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction ceremony by U2, Mick Jagger, and Fergie.

Rock and roll heaven.  An absolute orgasm.  And I don’t even like U2!

32.  The repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell

Because even republicans want to get into Heaven.

31.  Jonathan Franzen’s “Freedom”

Franzen is this generation’s Hemingway.  And “Freedom” is his “A Farewell to Arms”.  Read it.  Just do it.

30.  The March to Restore Sanity

I wasn’t there, and I didn’t see a lot of it, but I love it anyway.

29.  The “LOST” finale

It’s much debated, but I was never an “I need answers to X, Y, and Z, and I need them freaking spelled out for me” kinda guy.  I didn’t have LOST theories.  I work more by “feel”.  And the finale certainly felt right.  I still cry, every time.

28.  The “twist” ending of “Remember Me”

Everybody hates it.  I love it.  What’s new?

27.  The Chilean miners

Seriously?  This story was too good to be true.  If they made this movie and it was fictional, you’d be all like “No way this would happen like this.”  Just an unbelievable story.  The rare event of real news being real entertaining–and then uplifting.

26.  John Updike’s “Endpoint”

Sadly, this posthumous collection is the last poetry that will ever be released by Mr. Updike.  Luckily, it’s amazing (but, also, terribly terribly sad.)

25.  “The Good Wife” on CBS

I’ve just discovered it, so I have to get caught up, but it is tickling me.

24.  Seeing Art Speigelman give a talk at Dickinson University

Seeing the legendary literary graphic novelist give a highly entertaining and informative talk was one of the live event highlights of my year, and nobody had a guitar.

23.  My super-secret crush, The View‘s Sherri Shepard.

I will do unspeakble things to this woman.  In the good way.

22.  Mila Kunis and–yes–James Franco in “Date Night”

See #48 and substitute these actor’s names.

21.  The comeback of The Atlantic

One of the oldest and most respected magazines in the world revamps itself and somehow does not end up sucking.  In fact, it’s now better than ever, and just announced a profit for the first time in a decade.  And thankfully, it is somehow still completely pompous.

20.  Michael Vick

I sure know when to get back into Philadelphia sports, don’t I???  I simply love this real-life tale of redemption; if I didn’t believe in second chances, my own life would probably look a little bit different.

19.  This.

18.  TurningArt

The Netflix-like service provides you with rotating art prints (and a neato frame).  Sure, they don’t do much but hang there, but it’s a great way to explore what you like and don’t like about art.  It’s interesting to find how your relationship with a piece of art changes as it hangs in your home; much different than seeing it for 5 minutes in a gallery.

17.  Dogs

Still the best thing going.

16.  “Late Night with Jimmy Fallon”

Fallon has really hit a stride that is pure magic.  Sure, he’s not breaking new ground like his competition Craig Ferguson (who’s got a bit of briliiance working, as well), but Fallon’s show works miracles within a formula.  Delicious.

15.  The Fusco Brothers

The smartest, funniest comic strip in (or probably NOT in) your local newspaper just keeps getting funnier.  And smarter.  And harder to find.

14.  BuyBack$

A store that is just cheap, used DVDs, CDs, and Blu-Rays?  Yeah.  I’m kinda all over that.

13.  The re-release of new-age symhony In C.

Composer Terry Riley’s experimental, semi-electronic classical piece In C was re-released on CD this year, and it is just as addictive as when I first owned it back in high school.  Shades of just about all my current favorite artists can be heard in this breakthrough work.

12.  Cherry Crush

Because it’s fucking delicious.

11.  “What Up With That?” sketches on Saturday Night Live

This is by far the most enjoyable recurring sketch on SNL I’ve seen in years.  It has a concrete element of the absurd, and a perfect setting for uproarious celebrity cameos.  And Keenan Thompson is a genius, I don’t care what you say!  Click here for a selection of this year’s What Up With That’s on Hulu.

10.  Roles For Women

There’s still not nearly enough meaty roles for women in movies—Hollywood, indie, or otherwise—but this year saw a few choicer roles than before, thanks to dandy’s like “The Kids Are All Right”, “Please Give”, and “Secretariat”.

9.  Dan Simmons’ “The Terror”

One of the most interesting, and also more difficult, novels I’ve ever read.  Simmons’ explorers-trapped-in-icelocked-ships-being-terrorized-by-unseen-monsters-yet-also-slightly-based-on-historical-fact-of-Franklin’s-lost-expedition has got to be the world’s first historical fiction gothic horror novel.  And it scared the shit out of me.

8.  Cleveland

It really does rock.

7.  slate.com

The one-time almost-sad story of an great website gone bad is now a must-read internet newsmagazine.  I have it set as my homepage.

6.  Blu-Ray discs in Reboxes

Hey thanks.

5.  The first fight scene in “The Book of Eli”, where Denzel cuts that dude’s hand off.

OK, so the rest of the movie is kinda hum-drum, but that knife scene by the underpass with above-mentioned amputation is pure badass movie magic.

4.  Free concerts in the square in downtown Buffalo

I got a free front-row Ed Kowalczyk show, courtesy of the city of Buffalo, in a very attractive, quaint little square with a big statue of some dude (Mr. Buffalo?) in the center.  Can’t wait to see next year’s schedule!

3.  Katie Couric doing CBS’s Evening News

I just plain trust her.  A throwback to old-school news.

2.  The poster for The National’s album “High Violet”.

Good art and good music, all affordable?  Sign me up.  Check out the poster here.

1.  “The Expendables”

The movie was pretty bad, but I’d watch these guys pop popcorn.

 

The One Where I Whine About Things

1.  Everyone who gets my phone number here in Erie says, “Oh, 717, that’s the New York area code!”  No, no it’s not.

2.  We are almost at the shortest day of the year!!!  Which means soon they’ll start getting longer! Yaaaayyyy!!!

3.  After a very promising start, the Columbus Blue Jackets are once again in last place in their division.  They started as one of the best teams in the NHL!  Granted that was just in the first few weeks, but still, I was getting excited.  And still, even while it was happening, I could find NO mention of them in the press or anywhere, and in all the sports-themed stores at the mall (3 of them) I cannot find a single item with their logo, whereas I can find almost every other pro team in every sport.  Why does the whole world ignore the Blue Jackets???

4.  Entertainment Weekly‘s year-end top ten list of novels did not include—anywhere on the top ten—Jonathen Franzen’s Freedom.  This goes beyond bizarre.  I mean, for it to not even BE ON the top ten list seems like it must be an actual accident.  (for those not into books, this omission is like “Avatar” not being on a top ten list of movies in 2009, except the book doesn’t suck.)

5.  Just because you see I very recently posted soemthing on Facebook does not mean I am all of a sudden obligated to text you back.  I am not just laying around, posting to Facebook in a void of activity.  I often post something right in the middle of the stream of life. I’ll text you back when I’m good and ready!

(sorry, just doing some venting)

VHS 008

Yes, I’m going to post a blog every time I get a new print from TurningArt.  Just get over it.

So, I just got a new print from TurningArt.  (not sure what I’m talking about or want to see the previous prints?  Click here.)  After getting two very similar prints by the same artist, I thought I’d go as close to polar opposite as possible, so I went with “VHS 008” by Hollis Brown Thornton.  Thornton is a very interesting artist who uses all kinds of mediums, but is probably most famous for is pencil and marker drawings of “dead media” such as VHS, Atari cartridges, and 8-track tapes.  Check out his personal website here.   Here is the piece currently on the wall at the top of my stairs:

And here’s how it looks in my stairwell (I keep them in my stairwell, rather than in one of my actual rooms with my other artwork, because I make a point of stopping to look at them intently as I come and go):

But mostly, I just wanna know about the neckties.

1.  Seriously now, what is up with neckties?  I just don’t even understand why they exist.

2.  I’ve got nothing against this Justin Beiber guy, but I really really hope he knows it’s not going to last.  Does nobody notice that our culture requires a new, mid-to-late teens super-mega-squeaky-clean star every 3 to 4 years?  I mean, don’t get me wrong, Miley Cyrus and Jonas Brothers are not gone, but they’re fading, and I feel bad for these kids that almost (I said almost) certainly will not be able to make a transition to an adult career in entertainment.

3.  So I’ve waited years to get back in touch with you, wondering where you are, how things are going and, yes, what you look like.  Not out of (solely) my continued attraction to you, but simple curiosity: nobody knows better than I how interestingly years change a person’s looks.  So after once-monthly searches on Facebook for two solid years (and the same on MySpace for 5 years before that) I see you have finally made a facebook account, and I quickly request you.  Except, when I am finally able to look at your pictures, there’s not a single picture of you.  There are 50 pictures of your kids (I’m happy you have kids you enjoy, but I give about zero shits about kids I’ve never met and who have no idea who I am), 20 pictures of your pets, and three albums of the house you had built.  But not a single picture of you.  I friend requested you, not “Old Friend’s Kids”.  C’mon, you haven’t really disappeared completely into them, have you?

4.  Number 3 was not about a specific person, but something that I’ve experienced a few times.  Stop thinking it was harsh, you know you’ve thought it, too.  And Paul, really, don’t argue with me.

5.  I now get home delivery of The New York Times.  Let me tell you, there is no reason to get any other newspaper, ever, anywhere.  This thing is amazing.  Every copy–daily–has more information in it than a copy of TIME and Entertainment Weekly put together.  I’m especially impressed by their daily entertainment coverage; I might seriously not resubscribe to Entertainment Weekly.  Plus–and this is what really, REALLY tickles me—most days, there is no sports section.  The sports are in the entertainment section.  (guess what folks>  That’s what sports are!)  As I’ve said again and again recently, my demonization of sports is over as I find myself more and more drawn to them, but devoting a third of a newspaper or televised newscast to sports still seems like the work of a bestial culture.  I wanted to hug The New York Times when I realized how they did it!

6.  Along the lines of sports, now that my head is back in that realm, I feel I need to make clear, here in a public forum, my official favorite teams in the three sports I care about (eff basketball, though I’ll probably end up going to a few of Erie’s semi-pro team, the Erie Bayhawks, cause why not?).  Here are my 3 favorite teams in each sport, IN ORDER:

Baseball
1.  Philadelphia Phillies
2.  Cleveland Indians
3.  Washington Nationals

Hockey

1.  Columbus Blue Jackets
2.  Philadelphia Flyers
3.  Buffalo Sabres

Football

1.  Philadelphia Eagles
2.  Buffalo Bills
3.  Baltimore Ravens

7.  I saw a convoy of plows driving down the highway today, even though it hasn’t snowed yet.  Winter can suck it.  (I know I sound bitchy tonight but these can’t all be rainbows and angel farts, you know.)

LITERALLY

OK, now, I am NOT a grammar/ language/ usage Nazi, or however you want to say it.  I don’t go around correcting people all the time or generally being that kind of prick (I’m a prick; just not that kind).  I’m actually a proponent of language being elastic and I think that generally, those folks who are too strict about language rules have forgotten how absolutely amazing language is.  But if there’s something I can’t abide, it is words being used in the arts or media by paid professionals in a simply wrong way; not for artistic, ironic, or even spiteful purposes–just wrong.  And some of you may have heard my recently-formed rant about people using the word literally when they mean the exact opposite of literally.  To expound:  literally means “Take every word I’m about to say at face value; I am not exaggerating, using hyperbole, analogies, irony, sarcasm, or any other linguistic device.  When I say I have ball cancer, I do not mean my tennis game is off; rather, I mean the cells in my nuts are metasticizing, because I literally mean I have ball cancer.  [note:  I do not personally have ball cancer]”

The opposite of literally is figuratively.   There are a lot of different forms of figurative language, but they all have something in common:  they are not literal.  Something about them does NOT mean what the actual words are saying; they are NOT to be taken at face value.  For instance, if I said to a guy with a horrible pimple, “Nice pimple”, I mean that figuratively.  Remember, the pimple is horrible.  It is not nice.  In fact, there are very few nice pimples.  I think a pimple may need a diamond growing in the end of it in order to be a nice pimple.  In that fashion, if I were to say to the guy, “Nice pimple–literally” and there was not a diamond in it, I either:

A)  Have no idea what “literally” means or
B)  Am using the word “literally” ironically, which is way too post-modern and meta to be doing in normal, every day conversation.

I suspect it’s usually A.

Now, the reason I’m writing this at this point is because I love the show Dexter.  And the actor who plays the titular character, Michael C. Hall (not to be confused with the equally talented Anthony Michael Hall—his most recent series, The Dead Zone. was way underated) is a superb actor whose presence in the movie “Gamer” actually got me to rent (with MONEY) that steaming turd of a film.  Then recently, he started doing car commercials, and it was interesting to hear his voice in that context.  NOW, I must plead with all of you—contact your local politicians to get this ad pulled!!!!  Listen ad wizards:  if a VAN were to LITERALLY give birth to another van, that VAN would need to have a uterus, a vagina, and all the other things that go along with GIVING BIRTH.  Can you imagine a van giving birth?  What’s that gestation period look like?  How do they mate, are there interesting rituals????  It’s just waaaaaayyyyy annoying because it is THE POLAR OPPOSITE of literal.. I can’t even think about it anymore.  Here, watch the commercial, it makes me sick:

After years of  trying to escape my Newsweek subscription, I finally managed to do it earlier this year.  And now, this week, Fareed Zakaria has joined TIME as a new columnist.  (For those of you who don’t know, Zakaria was Newsweek’s main public face for many years, and one of the main reasons I left the magazine behind.)  What’s a boy to do?  I love TIME and am subscribed to it through 2015 but I really, really hate Zakaria.  I know there’s nothing I can do, short of cancelling my subscription.  I’m just venting.  Argh!

From an interview with William Shatner in the current issue of TIME:

TIME:  If you could share a secret about yourself, what would it be?

Shatner:  The secret is, I don’t know what the heck I’m doing.  I don’t really know what I’m doing in anything: relationships, driving, talking to you.

Alleged Pancakes Today, Cowboys Smell Swallowing. Machine Freak Miner Clothes!

1.  I bet, if you are falsely accused of a highly publicized crime (and I mean actually falsely accused), I bet every time a news commentator says something like “Well, these are still alleged charges, there hasn’t been a trial yet”, you think to yourself, That news commentator knows I’m innocent, whereas that news commentator’s remark makes the rest of us think you are guilty.  I don’t know what made me think that.

2.  An odd thing that’s happened to me since moving to Erie:  I’ve become a regular at a Bob Evans.  Before moving here I’d only been to a Bob Evans about 5 times.  I’m not even a huge fan of it there.  I really have no idea how it happened.  I mean, I do love their breakfasts but the atmosphere is so not me.  And yet.

3.  Haha Matt Lauer just referred to David Fincher as “Hollywood”.  And speaking of the Today show, I’m gonna need you to take less breaks for me to get my local weather.  Seriously, it’s like every 15 minutes.  It starts to feel like a cheat, like you just don’t have enough programming of your own.  Sometimes I can watch the Today show for 20 minutes and not actually see any Today show.

4.  You know I’m not a sports guy, though obviously my hard-line anti-sports stance has relaxed in the past year or two as I dabble in mildly following a few things (though I stand strong behind my feeling that sports are about 800% over-reported in our “news” and that our culture simply cares TOO MUCH about NFL football, but I no longer feel as though caring about sports at all is shameful).  With that caveat out of the way, as I have started paying attention to sports again over the past year, I am struck by the idea that there are a few teams in every major league sport that I just cannot understand anyone liking.  It’s like they were made to be disliked.  These teams are:

–Dallas Cowboys
–Los Angeles Dodgers
–Boston Celtics
–Pittsburgh Penguins (sorry!)
–Toronto Blue Jays
–New York Yankees
–New England Patriots
–Boston Bruins
–New York Knicks

Do you like any of these teams?? If so…how????

5.  Watch this, but not if you’re a prude:

6.  If, like me, you listen to a lot of talk radio, have you noticed that women seem to have trouble swallowing silently, whereas I never hear a man swallow?  (please please people, I’m not bitching about a gender here, this is a harmless observation).  I am constantly hearing female broadcasters swallowing between sentences. (it’s a tad off-putting)  Do you think there can be a physical explanation for this observation?  If you’ve never noticed it, start paying attention to it!  (Tell Me More‘s Michel Martin or Fresh Air‘s Terry Gross are good starting points).

7.  I recently cancelled my subscription to the Erie Times-News.  Not because it’s not a great newspaper (it is) and not because I don’t love newspapers (I do), but becausde, time-wise, I find I really only have the proper amount of time to peruse a newspaper 2 days a week, and I have discovered there are many newspaper machines very close to where I live.  Hence, I have developed quite a nice little ritual out of walking to the newspaper machines on my days off, in the wee, still-dark hours of the morning.  If this is anything remotely like something you can do, may I heartily recommend it. (nevermind the fact that I’ll probably have to re-subscribe in a month or two when the weather gets bad enough)

8.  I’m reading this book called “Freakonomincs” by Steven D. Levitt.  It’s pretty famous so I won’t bother telling you about it.  I’m almost done with it, and I still can’t tell you if I love it or hate it.  Some of the chapters I read and think, I could have written that.  That is fucking common.  Like the dude who thinks he’s really funny saying to you, “Hey, why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?” as though that wasn’t only NOT a joke, but practically a cliche.  Well, some of the chapters are like that.  And then out of the blue, he also amazes me, usually just as I am about to give up and stop reading the book.  Here is a passage where he is trying to figure out what exactly is true when it comes to the various myths about the safety of driving vs. flying.  I’m not sure if anything is even actually discussed here, but this kind of passage dazzles me for some reason:

So which should we actually fear more, flying or driving?
It might first help to ask a more basic question: what, exactly, are we afraid of?  Death, presumably.  But the fear of death needs to be narrowed down.  Of course we all know that we are bound to die, and we might worry about it casually.  But if you are told that you have a ten percent chance of dying within the next year, you might worry a lot more, perhaps even choosing to live your life differently.  And if you are told you have a 10% chance of dying within the next minute, you’ll probably panic.  So it’s the imminent possibility of death that drives the fear–which means that the most sensible way to calculate fear of death would be to think about it on a per-hour basis.
       If you are taking a trip and have the choice of driving or flying, you might wish to consider the per-hour death rate of driving versus flying.  (Hey, Seth again.  You can imagine that the next few paragraphs are incredibly interesting.)

9.  I sure wouldn’t want to be one of those Chilean miners.

10.  It’s amazing what I will go out in public looking like when I know there is an absolute zero percent chance of running into anyone I know.  I mean, this is beyond sweats.  We’re talking really, really ugly t-shirts, old, ripped PJ pants, super-generic velcro’d sneakers, no socks, no underwear, not shaved, not showered.  Now, I don’t go do anything of substance like this, but I find myself frequently leaving the house to do minor errands like shopping, gas, post office, etc, in this shameful state.  And guess what?  It’s pretty damn liberating.