The Oatmeal Version of a Moist Harry Potter
1. I seem to have become obsessed with eating oat and oat-related products. It’s no big secret that I’ve been on a big oatmeal kick on and off for a few years now (although the kick has now been “on” for about 8 months and shows no signs of slowing) but I recently starting branching out into even bigger and better oat products. I discovered Muesli and, in a trick almost nobody saw coming, I actually put it on my oatmeal. I also eat it dry, right out of the bag. In addition, I now buy granola, of all kinds. I also have been known, like the sly fox I am, to put that on my oatmeal. Then yesterday I found this new hot cereal, “brown rice farina hot cereal”, which my genius girlfriend immediately identified over the phone as being “basically a gluten-free form of Cream-of-Wheat”. I haven’t had it yet, but it looks delicious, and I look forward to throwing some other form of grains on top of it.
2. I have been playing an awful lot of this hip new app game, Trivia Crack (yeah, do I hate that it’s named after a crippling and deadly addictive drug? I sure do), which is just a trivia game you can play with your friends. It’s mostly horrible and is a huge time waster, but yes, it IS highly addictive. Now, any time one plays a trivia game, one is bound to have complaints about the nature of the questions eventually. Even the best version of Trivial Pursuit eventually shows a weakness of some kind. But can I just say, I am sick to death of Harry Potter questions. Seriously, I get it, it actually is a pretty big event in our culture. One should have at least a small passing knowledge of Harry Potter. But it seems as though this app wants us to have approximately one-eighth of our general knowledge of human beings to revolve around Harry Potter. It’s kinda sorta a little enraging.
3. How is it that every winter I refuse to acknowledge how badly I need to moisturize myself until winter is half over? Granted, it wasn’t something I ever had to think about as a younger man, but now it’s pretty evident. Sometime at the beginning of December I start to notice the skin on my arms getting ashy, and then a few weeks later some spots of my skin actually begin to hurt. At this point, I know my skin has become dramatically dry and is in need of moisture, and yet I soldier on, taking long, hot showers–often two a day–and spending plenty of time outdoors. I have plenty of lotion that I simply ignore. Then, usually sometime mid-January, it gets to the point I can no longer ignore it, and I break down and just lotion the whole body up. And EVERY YEAR, I just freakin’ love this. It feel like a new man! And every year, I say to myself, ‘Geez, why weren’t you doing this all along? Next year, we’re gonna start moisturizing right away!’ And yet, here I am, having just moisturized for the first time last night. It has seriously affected my whole day, in a positive way! I feel incredible!
January 25, 2015 at 1:21 AM
-I downloaded Trivia Crack a couple days ago and then forgot about it. I’ll see if I can find you whenever I do play it.
-I seem to be the only person that really needs lotion after my hands get wet. Everyone I tell about this seems to be mystified by my condition. When I do the dishes or take a shower I have to immediately put lotion on my hands or they’re unbearably dry. Tell me there’s someone else in the world that has this condition.
-My favorite charity of all is Oats for Slimer.
January 25, 2015 at 1:18 PM
–I’m sorry that I beat you in one turn. I promise that is not normal. I had a lucky run (between you and a previous game, I answered 28 questions in a row correctly!)
–That doesn’t happen to me, as far as the hand washing, but it doesn’t seem too strange to me, either. After I wash my hands, they typically do feel uncomfortably dry, but just not enough to require lotion. But as noted above, I’m probably not the go-to guy on discerning when a body needs lotion.
–Mine too.
January 25, 2015 at 1:27 AM
The oatmeal saga left me in stitches.
January 25, 2015 at 1:18 PM
That’s better than the neighbor’s dog doing it!